Of Expectations and Reality..

Dear other half,

I have often thought about you. Not you as a particular individual, rather you as an idea of what I would want in an individual. And I have had expectations and opinions. We all grow up to have a certain set of expectations, especially when it comes to the kind of person we would have in our lives. While with friends we learn to be accepting of who they are for what they are, we tend to be harsher with the person that we are likely to spend the rest of our lives with. We become that way because we know that person shall matter to us on a deeper level. More than any friend would ever manage to matter. So the things that would normally irk us, we’d let go for a friend. For a partner, maybe not.

I have often thought about you. Imagining you to be exactly as I would want you to be. The kind of person I’d like, behavior and all. Only there was one thing amiss here. I was forgetting that you would be your own self as well. You would have your own reactions to a particular thing which would be unlike my own. You wouldn’t necessarily think in the same manner as I would. You wouldn’t have similar life experiences as I would, that have shaped the way I am today. Perspectives, perspectives!

Now that I finally have you in my life, I feel all of those expectations were futile. There is so much that I did not expect. So much that I could never even imagine. And I mean all of it in a positive way of expectation. Of course, no man is perfect, not me, not you. Don’t let all my words get to your head love *wink* Having said that, of course I wouldn’t think twice before saying that I feel proud, for all that you are, for yourself and for me. I admire and respect the way you are, even if I may not show it or tell you.

I had a life planned out for me, this way and that way. Then you came along and this now is so much better than what I had planned for me. I see endless possibilities with you. I see us being supportive of each other's decisions and choices. Together, we'd make a great team! I know that because I believe so and I know that you believe it as well. I no longer have any doubts in my head or any apprehensions of any sort.

But now I do not wish to think about the future and expect it to turn out to be in a certain way anymore. You thrill me, surprise me, excite me. I am okay with not knowing the kind of life I shall have with you as long as I'd have you by my side. Because that makes everything seem better than it is. I do not speculate, I do not wish anymore. I’m simply living in the moment with you. Waiting for the next thing to happen to us. Knowing that I'd have you and that you'd have me.

Love always

~S